holyloop/holyloop.fountain

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2023-10-27 19:37:57 +00:00
Title: Holy Loop
Credit: Written by
Author: Mike Nolan
Draft Date: 10/27/2023
INT. JIM'S ROOM - DAY
JIM
Hi I am Jim and I am proudly an athiest.
JIM
Thats someone who does not believe in God.
JIM
I like this place, its cozy and I like to code on my laptop.
ANNIE
(annie peeks into the room)
Jim clean your room.
JIM
Shut up Mom, I don't wanna.
ANNIE
Ugh.
ANNIE
When will you just clean your room for once huh?
JIM
Probably never Mom.
ANNIE
You are grounded.
JIM
Get out!
ANNIE
No!
ANNIE
I am taking your computer.
JIM
(crying)
No!
ANNIE
You are not getting out of this room for a week.
JIM
Oh really?
ANNIE
Really.
EXT. OUTSIDE HOUSE - DAY
JIM
I am out of the house disobeying my mom (laughs).
STEVE
Hey Jim how's it going?
JIM
Not well, my Mom grounded me.
STEVE
Oh what did you do?
JIM
She wanted me to clean my room but I didn't.
STEVE
Yeah she's kind of extreme when she asks you to do something and you don't do it.
JIM
I agree.
JIM
(walks to the Gym)
INT. GYM - DAY
JIM
Well, I need to get more fit.
SKY
Who's that guy?
JIM
My name is Jim.
SKY
My name is Sky, my number is: (813) 555-9586.
JIM
Cool mine is: (813) 555-1992.
SKY
Hey the last four digits are the year I was born.
JIM
What gym equipment are you going to use today?
SKY
Treadmill.
JIM
Cool me too.
INT. HOTEL - DAY
JIM
I needed to get away from my Mom.
SKY
Me too.
SKY
Are you an athiest too?
JIM
Yep, isn't that cool.
SKY
Yep.
SKY
Lets go to the pool.
JIM
I wonder if there are camera's spying on us in the bathroom?
SKY
There probably is, those sickos.
JIM
I agree that is sick.
JIM
So lets go to the pool.
SKY
Ok.
JIM
(leaves the room off screen, and returns a moment later)
Wait, the pool is out of service.
SKY
No way.
SKY
(leaves the room off screen, and returns a moment later)
You are right, and that is stupid.
INT. CHURCH - NIGHT
2023-11-05 19:18:33 +00:00
PASTOR
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I am getting ready for my sermon tommorow.
GOD
Don't I need you to do something else.
2023-11-05 19:18:33 +00:00
PASTOR
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What is that?
GOD
Bill is creating baby robots that will rule the world and they will attack at nineteen hundered hours tommorow.
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PASTOR
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Oh no thats horrible, what can I do?
GOD
Pray so I will do something about it.
2023-11-05 19:18:33 +00:00
PASTOR
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LORD please don't let Bill's baby robots destroy the world In Jesus's name amen.
GOD
I will do it, however I will loop tommorow because I have chosen 2 athiests to save the world because why not.
2023-11-05 19:18:33 +00:00
PASTOR
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That sounds like a dumb idea?
GOD
I want to show people that you don't have to be the greatest and the strongest to make an inpact (you just need to be chosen by God).
2023-11-05 19:18:33 +00:00
PASTOR
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You are right, not My will, but Yours be done.
2023-11-05 19:18:33 +00:00
PASTOR
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One more thing, whos going in that loop.
GOD
The two atheists named Jim and Sky, Me, You, Steve, The Cop that pulls you over for a ticket because you sometimes speed.
2023-11-05 19:18:33 +00:00
PASTOR
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What, you said Me, Steve and the cop, why are we involved?
GOD
Well they need someone to preach the gospel and the cop will arrest them for stealing (they love stealing things, not all athiests do that just so we are clear) anyone who is not in the loop will forget, oh yeah Steve is the storage priest (he will sell the athiests a divine flash drive for $42 dollars)
2023-11-05 19:18:33 +00:00
PASTOR
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What makes the flash drive divine?
GOD
The data presists between loops even if destroyed (the files are stored in my cloud).
2023-11-05 19:18:33 +00:00
PASTOR
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You mean you have a server in heaven?
GOD
Who said a cloud can't have an IP address.
2023-11-05 19:18:33 +00:00
PASTOR
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I thought clouds were just something that had to do with rain?
GOD
I make the rules not you, so if I want a cloud to have an IP address, I will make the cloud a server and assign it an IP address.
2023-11-05 19:18:33 +00:00
PASTOR
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Ok when is the timeloop range
GOD
Tommorow from zero six hundered hours to twenty hundred hours (because that is when everything gets destroyed).
INT. HOTEL - DAWN
SKY
Hi its a nice day
JIM
Yeah I agree
NEWSHOST
We are sorry to inform you but Bill Wolfinheimer wants to create baby robots to destroy the world!
SKY
Oh no, thats bad.
STEVE
Jim and Sky, you need to leave before zero six hundered hours, Bill Wolfinheimer is hunting you guys down.
JIM
What?
SKY
We are going to die.
STEVE
If you come with me you wont.
JIM
Whatever you say Steve.
SKY ^
I trust you Steve.
INT. STEVES GARAGE - DAWN
JIM
What do we do now?
SKY ^
What do we do now?
STEVE
2023-12-05 01:45:47 +00:00
Lets just hang out until zero six hundred hours in here, we got Mario Kart.
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STEVE
(loads mario kart into the wii and hands out controllers)
JIM
Why is there no sound?
STEVE
Cause some dufas busted a RCA cable off in the audio jack of the TV.
SKY
No RF?
STEVE
All my RF Modulators are broken and I don't have a VCR.
JIM
Fine.
SKY
At least we are having fun?
JIM
What time is it?
SKY
Its six.
JIM
Ok its six, can we leave yet?
STEVE
Yes.
2023-12-05 01:45:47 +00:00
2023-10-27 19:37:57 +00:00
EXT. WALKING TO SKYS HOUSE - DAY
SKY
Its a nice day today.
JIM
Yep you know what, do you have a camera?
SKY
Yes I do have a camera, it is in my bedroom.
JIM
Cool I Just wanted to vlog with my new friend and I can't use my camera because my mom took it away when she took away my computer yesterday for not cleaning my room.
SKY
2023-12-05 01:45:47 +00:00
Oh that's messed up.
RAND
Hi Sky are you going to visit me latter today for that cookout.
INT. SKYS ROOM - DAY
SKY
Well we're here at my house.
JIM
Cool you have a GoPro Hero 3.
SKY
Yep and other than my phone that's my only camera.
JIM
Woah you have a laptop with Linux on it, Sky I really like you (you are against the spying of Windows).
SKY
I really like you too Jim and yes that is really messed up of Microsoft.
JIM
I still use dotnet on linux.
Sky turns on the TV
SKY (On The TV)
We are Centile Corporation and we do data recovery and fix your ovaries call us today at +1 800 555 3650 (Not responsable for ovarian cancer)
Jim turns off the TV
JIM
Wait you had a Centile Corporation commercial (that's one of Bill Wolfenheimers companies)?
SKY
Yes I had a commercial with Centile Corporation and No I didn't know Bill Wolfenheimer had his hand in it.
Jim turns on GoPro.
SKY
OK the camera is on so what do you want to record?
JIM
A Joke?
Jim starts recording.
SKY
What does IDK mean?
JIM
I Don't Know.
SKY
Ok I will some one else then.
Jim laughs.
EXT. STORE - DAY
SKY
Well we are having fun aren't we?
JIM
Yes we are.
SKY
Look out!
Someone knocks Jim and Sky out.
INT. STEVES GARAGE - DAWN
SKY
Wait why are we here?
STEVE
You can go.
EXT. WALKING TO SKYS HOUSE - DAY
SKY
Wow that was weird Jim.
RAND
Hi Sky are you going to visit me latter today for that cookout?
SKY
You said that yesterday.
RAND
No I didn't.
JIM
I remember him saying that yesterday.
INT. SKYS ROOM - DAY
SKY
Whats on TV Today?
JIM
Probably something different.
Jim turns on TV
SKY (On The TV)
We are Centile Corporation and we do data recovery and fix your ovaries call us today at +1 800 555 3650 (Not responsable for ovarian cancer)
Sky turns off TV
SKY
Now that's weird, the same commercial.
2023-12-25 16:08:35 +00:00
INT. STEVES GARAGE - DAY
2023-12-05 01:45:47 +00:00
SKY
What's happening, first off Rand asked me for whether I will go to his cookout, He said that yesterday and now he said it today even though he said that he never asked it yesterday and second the same commercial came on both yesterday and today at the same time?
2023-10-27 19:37:57 +00:00
2023-12-05 01:45:47 +00:00
STEVE
Now that sounds like a time loop.
SKY
What?
STEVE
Like groundhog day and yes I know why it is happening.
SKY
Can you tell me why?
STEVE
Yes, the world will end due to the evil tech guy Bill Wolfenheimer causing destruction with baby robots and God is looping Me, You, Jim, and The Pastor.
SKY
Okay thats weird.
JIM
Anything else?
STEVE
Do either of you have $42 dollars? I will sell you a special flash drive that will allow you to store files across loops.
SKY
No!
JIM ^
No!
EXT. WALKING TO STORE - DAY
SKY
We must not let that person at the store not knock us out again.
JIM
Yeah I agree.
SKY
You know what, hince we don't have $42 dollars lets steal some from the cash register.
JIM
Lets go!
INT. STORE - DAY
SKY
Everybody put your hands up!
JIM ^
Everybody put your hands up!
Sky steals $42 out of the cash register.
The people in the store cry and comply except for Rand
RAND
I am going to call 911
SKY
No I'm sorry pleasen don't let me go to jail!
JIM ^
No I'm sorry please don't let me go to jail!
Rand dials 911
The Cop enters the building
COP
You are under arrest Sky and Jim, put your hands up!
Sky and Jim both comply.
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The cop arrests them both and puts them in the car.
INT. In Cop Car - DAY
COP
Why did you have to do that?
SKY
I thought we could get away with that, it was only $42 dollars.
COP
Taking $42 dollars or even just a cent is still stealing.
COP
I will be taking you for three days
SKY
Haha we are in a loop.
COP
Not so fast, I got the bigger laugh I am in the loop as well.
JIM
He got you good.
COP
You are arrested as well for agreeing with her.
JIM
No I wasn't agreeing.
COP
Yes you were, God told me.
JIM
There is no God.
SKY ^
There is no God.
COP
Athiests, ugh.
INT. POLICE STATION - DAY
Cop screens them for drugs or other contraband like a phone or something like that.
COP
I am scaning you for contraband such as meth, pinephones or Nintendo Wii's (yes some bloke snuck one of those in here).
JIM
Really.
COP
Yep.
SKY
I guess he liked to go bowling.
COP
Yes he was really good at it.
SKY
So where am I going to go.
COP
In the same cell as Jim because we don't have any other location or cell.
SKY
Oh man, we are opposite sex.
COP
Too bad, you both need detention.
COP
Well I can give you radios for you to listen to, but they only play christian music.
JIM
Fine.
SKY ^
Fine.