Title: Holy Loop Credit: Written by Author: Mike Nolan Draft Date: 10/27/2023 INT. JIM'S ROOM - DAY JIM Hi I am Jim and I am proudly an athiest. JIM Thats someone who does not believe in God. JIM I like this place, its cozy and I like to code on my laptop. ANNIE (annie peeks into the room) Jim clean your room. JIM Shut up Mom, I don't wanna. ANNIE Ugh. ANNIE When will you just clean your room for once huh? JIM Probably never Mom. ANNIE You are grounded. JIM Get out! ANNIE No! ANNIE I am taking your computer. JIM (crying) No! ANNIE You are not getting out of this room for a week. JIM Oh really? ANNIE Really. EXT. OUTSIDE HOUSE - DAY JIM I am out of the house disobeying my mom (laughs). STEVE Hey Jim how's it going? JIM Not well, my Mom grounded me. STEVE Oh what did you do? JIM She wanted me to clean my room but I didn't. STEVE Yeah she's kind of extreme when she asks you to do something and you don't do it. JIM I agree. JIM (walks to the Gym) INT. GYM - DAY JIM Well, I need to get more fit. SKY Who's that guy? JIM My name is Jim. SKY My name is Sky, my number is: (813) 555-9586. JIM Cool mine is: (813) 555-1992. SKY Hey the last four digits are the year I was born. JIM What gym equipment are you going to use today? SKY Treadmill. JIM Cool me too. INT. HOTEL - DAY JIM I needed to get away from my Mom. SKY Me too. SKY Are you an athiest too? JIM Yep, isn't that cool. SKY Yep. SKY Lets go to the pool. JIM I wonder if there are camera's spying on us in the bathroom? SKY There probably is, those sickos. JIM I agree that is sick. JIM So lets go to the pool. SKY Ok. JIM (leaves the room off screen, and returns a moment later) Wait, the pool is out of service. SKY No way. SKY (leaves the room off screen, and returns a moment later) You are right, and that is stupid. INT. CHURCH - NIGHT PASTOR I am getting ready for my sermon tommorow. GOD Don't I need you to do something else. PASTOR What is that? GOD Bill is creating baby robots that will rule the world and they will attack at nineteen hundered hours tommorow. PASTOR Oh no thats horrible, what can I do? GOD Pray so I will do something about it. PASTOR LORD please don't let Bill's baby robots destroy the world In Jesus's name amen. GOD I will do it, however I will loop tommorow because I have chosen 2 athiests to save the world because why not. PASTOR That sounds like a dumb idea? GOD I want to show people that you don't have to be the greatest and the strongest to make an inpact (you just need to be chosen by God). PASTOR You are right, not My will, but Yours be done. PASTOR One more thing, whos going in that loop. GOD The two atheists named Jim and Sky, Me, You, Steve, The Cop that pulls you over for a ticket because you sometimes speed. PASTOR What, you said Me, Steve and the cop, why are we involved? GOD Well they need someone to preach the gospel and the cop will arrest them for stealing (they love stealing things, not all athiests do that just so we are clear) anyone who is not in the loop will forget, oh yeah Steve is the storage priest (he will sell the athiests a divine flash drive for $42 dollars) PASTOR What makes the flash drive divine? GOD The data presists between loops even if destroyed (the files are stored in my cloud). PASTOR You mean you have a server in heaven? GOD Who said a cloud can't have an IP address. PASTOR I thought clouds were just something that had to do with rain? GOD I make the rules not you, so if I want a cloud to have an IP address, I will make the cloud a server and assign it an IP address. PASTOR Ok when is the timeloop range GOD Tommorow from zero six hundered hours to twenty hundred hours (because that is when everything gets destroyed). INT. HOTEL - DAWN SKY Hi its a nice day JIM Yeah I agree NEWSHOST We are sorry to inform you but Bill Wolfinheimer wants to create baby robots to destroy the world! SKY Oh no, thats bad. STEVE Jim and Sky, you need to leave before zero six hundered hours, Bill Wolfinheimer is hunting you guys down. JIM What? SKY We are going to die. STEVE If you come with me you wont. JIM Whatever you say Steve. SKY ^ I trust you Steve. INT. STEVES GARAGE - DAWN JIM What do we do now? SKY ^ What do we do now? STEVE Lets just hang out until zero six hundred hours in here, we got Mario Kart. STEVE (loads mario kart into the wii and hands out controllers) JIM Why is there no sound? STEVE Cause some dufas busted a RCA cable off in the audio jack of the TV. SKY No RF? STEVE All my RF Modulators are broken and I don't have a VCR. JIM Fine. SKY At least we are having fun? JIM What time is it? SKY Its six. JIM Ok its six, can we leave yet? STEVE Yes. EXT. WALKING TO SKYS HOUSE - DAY SKY Its a nice day today. JIM Yep you know what, do you have a camera? SKY Yes I do have a camera, it is in my bedroom. JIM Cool I Just wanted to vlog with my new friend and I can't use my camera because my mom took it away when she took away my computer yesterday for not cleaning my room. SKY Oh that's messed up. RAND Hi Sky are you going to visit me latter today for that cookout. INT. SKYS ROOM - DAY SKY Well we're here at my house. JIM Cool you have a GoPro Hero 3. SKY Yep and other than my phone that's my only camera. JIM Woah you have a laptop with Linux on it, Sky I really like you (you are against the spying of Windows). SKY I really like you too Jim and yes that is really messed up of Microsoft. JIM I still use dotnet on linux. Sky turns on the TV SKY (On The TV) We are Centile Corporation and we do data recovery and fix your ovaries call us today at +1 800 555 3650 (Not responsable for ovarian cancer) Jim turns off the TV JIM Wait you had a Centile Corporation commercial (that's one of Bill Wolfenheimers companies)? SKY Yes I had a commercial with Centile Corporation and No I didn't know Bill Wolfenheimer had his hand in it. Jim turns on GoPro. SKY OK the camera is on so what do you want to record? JIM A Joke? Jim starts recording. SKY What does IDK mean? JIM I Don't Know. SKY Ok I will some one else then. Jim laughs. EXT. STORE - DAY SKY Well we are having fun aren't we? JIM Yes we are. SKY Look out! Someone knocks Jim and Sky out. INT. STEVES GARAGE - DAWN SKY Wait why are we here? STEVE You can go. EXT. WALKING TO SKYS HOUSE - DAY SKY Wow that was weird Jim. RAND Hi Sky are you going to visit me latter today for that cookout? SKY You said that yesterday. RAND No I didn't. JIM I remember him saying that yesterday. INT. SKYS ROOM - DAY SKY Whats on TV Today? JIM Probably something different. Jim turns on TV SKY (On The TV) We are Centile Corporation and we do data recovery and fix your ovaries call us today at +1 800 555 3650 (Not responsable for ovarian cancer) Sky turns off TV SKY Now that's weird, the same commercial. INT. STEVES GARAGE - DAY SKY What's happening, first off Rand asked me for whether I will go to his cookout, He said that yesterday and now he said it today even though he said that he never asked it yesterday and second the same commercial came on both yesterday and today at the same time? STEVE Now that sounds like a time loop. SKY What? STEVE Like groundhog day and yes I know why it is happening. SKY Can you tell me why? STEVE Yes, the world will end due to the evil tech guy Bill Wolfenheimer causing destruction with baby robots and God is looping Me, You, Jim, and The Pastor. SKY Okay thats weird. JIM Anything else? STEVE Do either of you have $42 dollars? I will sell you a special flash drive that will allow you to store files across loops. SKY No! JIM ^ No! EXT. WALKING TO STORE - DAY SKY We must not let that person at the store not knock us out again. JIM Yeah I agree. SKY You know what, hince we don't have $42 dollars lets steal some from the cash register. JIM Lets go! INT. STORE - DAY SKY Everybody put your hands up! JIM ^ Everybody put your hands up! Sky steals $42 out of the cash register. The people in the store cry and comply except for Rand RAND I am going to call 911 SKY No I'm sorry pleasen don't let me go to jail! JIM ^ No I'm sorry please don't let me go to jail! Rand dials 911 The Cop enters the building COP You are under arrest Sky and Jim, put your hands up! Sky and Jim both comply. The cop arrests them both and puts them in the car. INT. In Cop Car - DAY COP Why did you have to do that? SKY I thought we could get away with that, it was only $42 dollars. COP Taking $42 dollars or even just a cent is still stealing. COP I will be taking you for three days SKY Haha we are in a loop. COP Not so fast, I got the bigger laugh I am in the loop as well. JIM He got you good. COP You are arrested as well for agreeing with her. JIM No I wasn't agreeing. COP Yes you were, God told me. JIM There is no God. SKY ^ There is no God. COP Athiests, ugh. INT. POLICE STATION - DAY Cop screens them for drugs or other contraband like a phone or something like that. COP I am scaning you for contraband such as meth, pinephones or Nintendo Wii's (yes some bloke snuck one of those in here). JIM Really. COP Yep. SKY I guess he liked to go bowling. COP Yes he was really good at it. SKY So where am I going to go. COP In the same cell as Jim because we don't have any other location or cell. SKY Oh man, we are opposite sex. COP Too bad, you both need detention. COP Well I can give you radios for you to listen to, but they only play christian music. JIM Fine. SKY ^ Fine.