596 lines
9.3 KiB
Plaintext
596 lines
9.3 KiB
Plaintext
Title: Holy Loop
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Credit: Written by
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Author: Mike Nolan
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Draft Date: 10/27/2023
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INT. JIM'S ROOM - DAY
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JIM
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Hi I am Jim and I am proudly an athiest.
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JIM
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Thats someone who does not believe in God.
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JIM
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I like this place, its cozy and I like to code on my laptop.
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ANNIE
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(annie peeks into the room)
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Jim clean your room.
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JIM
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Shut up Mom, I don't wanna.
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ANNIE
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Ugh.
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ANNIE
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When will you just clean your room for once huh?
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JIM
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Probably never Mom.
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ANNIE
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You are grounded.
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JIM
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Get out!
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ANNIE
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No!
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ANNIE
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I am taking your computer.
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JIM
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(crying)
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No!
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ANNIE
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You are not getting out of this room for a week.
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JIM
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Oh really?
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ANNIE
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Really.
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EXT. OUTSIDE HOUSE - DAY
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JIM
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I am out of the house disobeying my mom (laughs).
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STEVE
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Hey Jim how's it going?
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JIM
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Not well, my Mom grounded me.
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STEVE
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Oh what did you do?
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JIM
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She wanted me to clean my room but I didn't.
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STEVE
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Yeah she's kind of extreme when she asks you to do something and you don't do it.
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JIM
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I agree.
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JIM
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(walks to the Gym)
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INT. GYM - DAY
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JIM
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Well, I need to get more fit.
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SKY
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Who's that guy?
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JIM
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My name is Jim.
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SKY
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My name is Sky, my number is: (813) 555-9586.
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JIM
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Cool mine is: (813) 555-1992.
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SKY
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Hey the last four digits are the year I was born.
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JIM
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What gym equipment are you going to use today?
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SKY
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Treadmill.
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JIM
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Cool me too.
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INT. HOTEL - DAY
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JIM
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I needed to get away from my Mom.
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SKY
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Me too.
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SKY
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Are you an athiest too?
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JIM
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Yep, isn't that cool.
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SKY
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Yep.
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SKY
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Lets go to the pool.
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JIM
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I wonder if there are camera's spying on us in the bathroom?
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SKY
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There probably is, those sickos.
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JIM
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I agree that is sick.
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JIM
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So lets go to the pool.
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SKY
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Ok.
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JIM
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(leaves the room off screen, and returns a moment later)
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Wait, the pool is out of service.
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SKY
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No way.
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SKY
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(leaves the room off screen, and returns a moment later)
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You are right, and that is stupid.
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INT. CHURCH - NIGHT
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PASTOR
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I am getting ready for my sermon tommorow.
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GOD
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Don't I need you to do something else.
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PASTOR
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What is that?
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GOD
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Bill is creating baby robots that will rule the world and they will attack at nineteen hundered hours tommorow.
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PASTOR
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Oh no thats horrible, what can I do?
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GOD
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Pray so I will do something about it.
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PASTOR
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LORD please don't let Bill's baby robots destroy the world In Jesus's name amen.
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GOD
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I will do it, however I will loop tommorow because I have chosen 2 athiests to save the world because why not.
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PASTOR
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That sounds like a dumb idea?
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GOD
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I want to show people that you don't have to be the greatest and the strongest to make an inpact (you just need to be chosen by God).
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PASTOR
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You are right, not My will, but Yours be done.
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PASTOR
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One more thing, whos going in that loop.
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GOD
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The two atheists named Jim and Sky, Me, You, Steve, The Cop that pulls you over for a ticket because you sometimes speed.
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PASTOR
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What, you said Me, Steve and the cop, why are we involved?
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GOD
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Well they need someone to preach the gospel and the cop will arrest them for stealing (they love stealing things, not all athiests do that just so we are clear) anyone who is not in the loop will forget, oh yeah Steve is the storage priest (he will sell the athiests a divine flash drive for $42 dollars)
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PASTOR
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What makes the flash drive divine?
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GOD
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The data presists between loops even if destroyed (the files are stored in my cloud).
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PASTOR
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You mean you have a server in heaven?
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GOD
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Who said a cloud can't have an IP address.
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PASTOR
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I thought clouds were just something that had to do with rain?
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GOD
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I make the rules not you, so if I want a cloud to have an IP address, I will make the cloud a server and assign it an IP address.
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PASTOR
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Ok when is the timeloop range
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GOD
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Tommorow from zero six hundered hours to twenty hundred hours (because that is when everything gets destroyed).
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INT. HOTEL - DAWN
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SKY
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Hi its a nice day
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JIM
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Yeah I agree
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NEWSHOST
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We are sorry to inform you but Bill Wolfinheimer wants to create baby robots to destroy the world!
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SKY
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Oh no, thats bad.
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STEVE
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Jim and Sky, you need to leave before zero six hundered hours, Bill Wolfinheimer is hunting you guys down.
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JIM
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What?
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SKY
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We are going to die.
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STEVE
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If you come with me you wont.
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JIM
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Whatever you say Steve.
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SKY ^
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I trust you Steve.
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INT. STEVES GARAGE - DAWN
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JIM
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What do we do now?
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SKY ^
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What do we do now?
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STEVE
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Lets just hang out until zero six hundred hours in here, we got Mario Kart.
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STEVE
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(loads mario kart into the wii and hands out controllers)
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JIM
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Why is there no sound?
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STEVE
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Cause some dufas busted a RCA cable off in the audio jack of the TV.
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SKY
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No RF?
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STEVE
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All my RF Modulators are broken and I don't have a VCR.
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JIM
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Fine.
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SKY
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At least we are having fun?
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JIM
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What time is it?
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SKY
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Its six.
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JIM
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Ok its six, can we leave yet?
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STEVE
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Yes.
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EXT. WALKING TO SKYS HOUSE - DAY
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SKY
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Its a nice day today.
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JIM
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Yep you know what, do you have a camera?
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SKY
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Yes I do have a camera, it is in my bedroom.
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JIM
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Cool I Just wanted to vlog with my new friend and I can't use my camera because my mom took it away when she took away my computer yesterday for not cleaning my room.
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SKY
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Oh that's messed up.
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RAND
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Hi Sky are you going to visit me latter today for that cookout.
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INT. SKYS ROOM - DAY
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SKY
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Well we're here at my house.
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JIM
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Cool you have a GoPro Hero 3.
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SKY
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Yep and other than my phone that's my only camera.
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JIM
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Woah you have a laptop with Linux on it, Sky I really like you (you are against the spying of Windows).
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SKY
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I really like you too Jim and yes that is really messed up of Microsoft.
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JIM
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I still use dotnet on linux.
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Sky turns on the TV
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SKY (On The TV)
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We are Centile Corporation and we do data recovery and fix your ovaries call us today at +1 800 555 3650 (Not responsable for ovarian cancer)
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Jim turns off the TV
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JIM
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Wait you had a Centile Corporation commercial (that's one of Bill Wolfenheimers companies)?
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SKY
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Yes I had a commercial with Centile Corporation and No I didn't know Bill Wolfenheimer had his hand in it.
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Jim turns on GoPro.
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SKY
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OK the camera is on so what do you want to record?
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JIM
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A Joke?
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Jim starts recording.
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SKY
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What does IDK mean?
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JIM
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I Don't Know.
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SKY
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Ok I will some one else then.
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Jim laughs.
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EXT. STORE - DAY
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SKY
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Well we are having fun aren't we?
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JIM
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Yes we are.
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SKY
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Look out!
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Someone knocks Jim and Sky out.
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INT. STEVES GARAGE - DAWN
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SKY
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Wait why are we here?
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STEVE
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You can go.
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EXT. WALKING TO SKYS HOUSE - DAY
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SKY
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Wow that was weird Jim.
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RAND
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Hi Sky are you going to visit me latter today for that cookout?
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SKY
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You said that yesterday.
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RAND
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No I didn't.
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JIM
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I remember him saying that yesterday.
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INT. SKYS ROOM - DAY
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SKY
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Whats on TV Today?
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JIM
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Probably something different.
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Jim turns on TV
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SKY (On The TV)
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We are Centile Corporation and we do data recovery and fix your ovaries call us today at +1 800 555 3650 (Not responsable for ovarian cancer)
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Sky turns off TV
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SKY
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Now that's weird, the same commercial.
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INT. STEVES GARAGE - DAY
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SKY
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What's happening, first off Rand asked me for whether I will go to his cookout, He said that yesterday and now he said it today even though he said that he never asked it yesterday and second the same commercial came on both yesterday and today at the same time?
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STEVE
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Now that sounds like a time loop.
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SKY
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What?
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STEVE
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Like groundhog day and yes I know why it is happening.
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SKY
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Can you tell me why?
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STEVE
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Yes, the world will end due to the evil tech guy Bill Wolfenheimer causing destruction with baby robots and God is looping Me, You, Jim, and The Pastor.
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SKY
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Okay thats weird.
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JIM
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Anything else?
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STEVE
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Do either of you have $42 dollars? I will sell you a special flash drive that will allow you to store files across loops.
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SKY
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No!
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JIM ^
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No!
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EXT. WALKING TO STORE - DAY
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SKY
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We must not let that person at the store not knock us out again.
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JIM
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Yeah I agree.
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SKY
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You know what, hince we don't have $42 dollars lets steal some from the cash register.
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JIM
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Lets go!
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INT. STORE - DAY
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SKY
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Everybody put your hands up!
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JIM ^
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Everybody put your hands up!
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Sky steals $42 out of the cash register.
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The people in the store cry and comply except for Rand
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RAND
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I am going to call 911
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SKY
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No I'm sorry pleasen don't let me go to jail!
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JIM ^
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No I'm sorry please don't let me go to jail!
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Rand dials 911
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The Cop enters the building
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COP
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You are under arrest Sky and Jim, put your hands up!
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Sky and Jim both comply.
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The cop arrests them both and puts them in the car.
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INT. In Cop Car - DAY
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COP
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Why did you have to do that?
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SKY
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I thought we could get away with that, it was only $42 dollars.
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COP
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Taking $42 dollars or even just a cent is still stealing.
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COP
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I will be taking you for three days
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SKY
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Haha we are in a loop.
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COP
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Not so fast, I got the bigger laugh I am in the loop as well.
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JIM
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He got you good.
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COP
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You are arrested as well for agreeing with her.
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JIM
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No I wasn't agreeing.
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COP
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Yes you were, God told me.
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JIM
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There is no God.
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SKY ^
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There is no God.
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COP
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Athiests, ugh.
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INT. POLICE STATION - DAY
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Cop screens them for drugs or other contraband like a phone or something like that.
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COP
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I am scaning you for contraband such as meth, pinephones or Nintendo Wii's (yes some bloke snuck one of those in here).
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JIM
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Really.
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COP
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Yep.
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SKY
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I guess he liked to go bowling.
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COP
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Yes he was really good at it.
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SKY
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So where am I going to go.
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COP
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In the same cell as Jim because we don't have any other location or cell.
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SKY
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Oh man, we are opposite sex.
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COP
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Too bad, you both need detention.
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COP
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Well I can give you radios for you to listen to, but they only play christian music.
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JIM
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Fine.
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SKY ^
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Fine.
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